Carolina moon

The moon is high in the sky to the east of my house tonight. I think of her - and even though I know she is gone it is hard to believe sometimes. I have lived in this area for 36 years and she has always been my neighbor.

I always remember the fires in her "outside fireplace", burning trash for pleasure. The gingersnap cookies in the jar, radio playing classical music and of course on her own piano a picture of her at 90 riding horse for the first time. She loved to read before she lost her vision, and after... - well, she loved to crochet. She did it by feel, stitched everyone in her family an afghan - and then some!! One time when I was over at her house cleaning I remember her telling me how she loved being blind and crocheting. She said she could see the most beautiful things. A trumpeter swan swimming on the lake with the sunshine at its back... and when she looked out toward the grocery store she could see the big ole hay stacks from years gone by and it made her feel at home. And I realize I am a part of her... I am her listener.

Many times during my children's sermons I got to talk about her and something she had done or said - using it as a learning lesson for the kids. I'll always remember her 97th birthday party - there were cars lined up for blocks. For days people came and went from her home. At that time I wished I could be a member of her family. I wanted to be within the walls listening to stories of life, laughing about the pet crow. And I realized at that time I am a part of her family... I am her sister.

She played the piano as long as she could - songs that she had memorized, she said it was good for her brain to play the notes by memory and the ivories by feel... good for her brain? I guess I will need to remember that on my 97th birhday! And I realize I am a part of her family... I am her student.

In December of 2008 the Sunday School program was "Christmas with grandma". It will always be special to me - those times at her house working with her on the lines and then the actual program sitting beside her (I was Aunt Mae). Listening as she told the children of Christmas's gone by. And her favorite story from the book of Luke. I am thank-ful the children got to spend this time with this church lady!! She was a member of the Arlington United Methodist Church for 100 years!! The children, their families, myself, we are all a part of the body of Christ.

Of all the memories I have through the years - the best were the times that I got to pray with her. She was always so appreciative and you knew that it made her feel better to be speaking with the Lord. She always smiled, and always said thank-you. Even that day - after she had left her home, and now hadn't left her bed. She was quiet and still and yet when I asked her if we could pray for her... she took my hand and smiled. And so... we did... we prayed and we thanked God for a wonderful life and for the witness that she was to so many. And when I left that building and I looked up to the west - I saw the moon.

Palm Sunday

If he were born in the 2000's the man would have had some big diagnosis of this I am sure. But, rather he was born in 1956... living his life as a normal man without normalcy. How does one do this? I have watched him struggle now for 20 plus years... going from having his own home and a very good job... to really having nothing except the town park bench to draw attention to himself when he is on the flip side of bipolar (he finally did get labeled in about 2001).
Tim was born and raised Catholic. The Methodist church in town has been very good to him also however, so he often times hits mass on Saturday afternoon and then hits the 2nd service on Sunday at our church. It was Palm Sunday 2010. Our Pastor was talking to us all about "praise and worship". What it talks about in the bible about waving palm branches. How earlier in bible times, people waved their palm branches in praise to the King of Kings. Pastor asked us (and himself) to step outside of our box and as we would sing praise songs, we were each given palm branches to wave in the air as an act of worship. As we were filling our small sanctuary with large voices of praise - I saw Tim. There he was - eyes closed, hands up, and palm branches waving in the air as he sang. He was surrounded by the Holy presence of God. And I prayed: Lord, who am I to decide what normal is? Thank-you for my friend Tim. Proctect him with your Love as he goes about his life in this world that doesn't understand. Love him and always keep his heart open and a palm branch in his hands! AMEN

The bathroom window

... he was driving a big ole maroon ford - the kind that you can eat a 6 course meal off the dash board. At the stop light taking a left and I was at the stop light going straight. I saw his face and I knew in an instant that was the one I wanted to marry. He was the most gorgeous man I had ever seen. I got to get a closer look about a week later when we just happened to stop by his apartment. My good friend Lori (his sister in law) and jahunger (a friend from hungry that was working at the group home with us) and of course myself. Well I'll be if that man didn't take my breath away. All the way from his long black curly hair, his beautiful blue eyes and his gentle quiet demeanor. He asked me out that night, told me he would be there the next Saturday night and we would go to the races in Arlington. I didn't care much for races, but, I really didn't care what I cared about at the time - except for the fact he would be picking me up!!!
My bathroom window looked out over hi way 5 that was the way I figured he would be coming in that night. I sat by that window waiting for the car to see that maroon ford... it didn't come
and I didn't see it
and he was late - with no call
and I should have known better...
he wasn't coming.........
but he did... I saw that car coming in to town - I didn't care that he was late - he did show... Arlington raceway here we come!!!

Take the time...

When JaciAnna was a tot my mom went and stayed with her and her family in their little house in Foley. Mom would go to help out with daycare and whatever else they needed done. The fun part about this was that the house was butted up against a state park with a wonderful walking path. Grandma Dorius and JaciAnna got to go walking quite a bit during that summer stay. They would go out and hold hands and walk down the path. There was a bench about half way. Sitting there on a bench with a little 2 year old...
... can you imagine their joy listening to the beautiful orchestra that nature provides. Crickets, frogs, katydids, birds, the cardinals love cry? We are all in such a hurry that you really have to wonder if we have time for these things?
Just recently we were celebrating Easter with all of our family and JaciAnna said to her great grams "DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE USED TO LISTEN TO THE BIRDS?"

Oriental Buffets

I was told once that a oriental company had a big meeting trying to figure out how to make some money. "Lets bottle some water, seal it and sell it to the Americans. They buy anything. So I think to myself how it all got started. They told us how the ground waters were contaminated with fertilizers, garbage, chemicals and such. Then they started on city water using chlorine and other things in our drinking water that are terribly hazardous to our health. The next thing you know they are bottling "spring water" straight from the artisan wells. (Artisan well? what the heck is that? It sounds healthy though doesn't it?) Bottled water is a multi million dollar business. What the heck I say again! I have thought about this many time through out the years when I lay my $1.50 out there for a bottle of WATER!! What is wrong with this picture? Then I really get out there and I start thinking about my obsession for oriental food. Obviously these people do not eat their own food... they are all about the size of Jack O'Lane (isn't he like 90 years old and swam some great distance recently?) I know that honestly these people can not be eating the food that they set out in the buffet line, it is not possible to eat that way and stay their way. So in conclusion... anyone ready for the "Oriental Dragon" in Waconia?

The door

One of my other great memories from junior high:
Yes, they were going to start a girls basketball team for Arlington-Green Isle schools. I was in 8th grade and I had myself a new friend (Carolbethyname). We hit it off immediately when we saw each other - inseparable! So, who better to join the team with! Practice would begin this Monday, anyone who wanted to come and join was welcome. We sat there on those hard bleachers, Carol and I. We were going to make a difference for all of the girls across America. The "coach" talked to us about what the year would entail and how important it was going to be to work together as a team. Many girls were sitting there right along side us preparing themselves for this new adventure in our school. We were really in to this, ready to be a "team player". Our "coach" announced (with great excitement in her voice) that we would be starting out our memorable year with 10 laps around the gym. Well, I'll be if something didn't stir in me so deep I thought I was going to toss a cookie right there! What the heck! I wasn't going to be running around no gym for anyone! Not for the sake of A-GI Junior high, or for girls across America! The Presidential Fitness Awards plan we did every year was quite enough running for me! So, we took our running legs and ran right out the door.

The cheerleader

The only time I ever really feel "anxiety" is about my weight. It usually happens before bed when I go over in my mind what I have eaten and what kind of exercise I have done through out the day. I get all pumped up thinking tomorrow is the day that I will start the rest of my life and I will be on a journey to get skinny and stay that way! I get it all planned out in my head and can't quit thinking about it. One night I had my weight loss plan all in place... I need to lose 50 pounds... and it needs to be for good this time! I need to change my eating habits and that is all there is to it!! Suddenly I had some not so fond memories of being a "chubby" child...
I never thought I had a weight problem. My mom and dad always made me feel so special and so beautiful. It was 7th grade... big time for a teen! Cheerleaders were a big thing back in the 70's and there was no doubt in my mind that I would be one. The try outs were after school. I got my best voice and smile out and jumped around to the cheer they had showed us to use for the occasion. I left that place with a smile imagining myself as a cheerleader and being quite proud of how well I had done. Well, to my great dismay, when they posted the list of the new 7th grade cheer leading squad - I was not on the list! It hit me like a brick, how could I have not known? I am fat, and one thing the world doesn't need is a fat cheer leader! For goodness sakes what in the world was I thinking? Why didn't anyone tell me before I made a fool out of myself? I don't remember what my reactions were... but, I do remember my mom and I joined TOPS (take off pounds sensibly) - and I lost 50 pounds!!!
Now, as a "chubby" adult - almost 50 - I realize, I have gained and lost that same 50 pounds my whole life! I think that will be my plan tonight:
I am almost 50 - time to take off that 50 forever!!