GRANDMA'S

These pictures were taken of Conner Dallas Harren and his Grandmas...



SILLY GRAMMA

GRAMMIE PAMMIE

SOUTH DAKOTA GRAMMA -

I am so in love with this little guy I can not even begin to say.

He makes my heart sing.
He fills my empty spots with joy.
He holds my very heart in his hand.

His eyes melt me from the inside out.
His smile folds me into a big ball of grandma goo...
His heart beats next to mine and I feel whole.

He is my little guy
He is my sunshine
He is my honey bunny
He is my morning star
He is my midnight moon
He is my favorite four 1/2 year old by far!

Each moment we get to spend together with grandchildren is etched in my heart, much in the same way these images are transferred onto film. I pray the moments will stay with me as I age. That when I get lonesome I can just pull them out and remember the love of a child, and I will be flooded with the same love that I feel right now. It is never ending...
Thank-you God for Grandma moments - every single one of them.
We feel so blessed to have our grandchildren - every single one of them.

THE BEST JOB I EVER HAD

Today I realized how things always work out for the best. I think it has always been known to me, and yet sometimes I can tend to question and forget. It is almost 6 years ago that I "lost" my job that I had worked at for 26 years. I worked with people, they had become a part of my family - the people I worked for and the people I worked with. I never wanted another job, it was by far the best job I could ever have. After being called in the office for a "talk" with the boss, I left with tears in my eyes, anger in my mind, and a lonesomeness that wasn't even real yet. It was not a good feeling and that not so good feeling was shared by alot of people. To remember the details now I can't, but I do know it took me a long time to forgive the whole situation. After the "talk" I spent the next couple months applying for a few jobs and working at "Stu's Main Inn" ( Stu owned a restaurant up town for many years - it was the place to go for dinner when you were in school, cheap and fast is what it was known for!). It is a lady now who owns it and she very graciously told me that I could certainly work for her until I found work. Small towns are funny that way... the board who fired me due to "conflict of Interest" came into the establishment who gave me a job for the interim and I served them with a smile. (Well, okay, so I wanted to puke on them - I didn't... I served them with a painted smile that said the bottom has fallen out of my world but I am busy trying to mend it back up. Thank-you very much!)
A job offer came - in fact two at the same time. The Sibley County Faith in Action called me to work for them and as I was thinking about it a call came over the phone for a job in Glencoe that I had applied for...
the job was mine if I wanted it...
four days a week, wages the same as I had been making, and a chance to do something new.
It didn't take me long to accept the Glencoe job and I was excited to start my new career. I started the first week of May, the same time I ended my job at "Stu's Main Inn". (need I put in here - that although I was so appreciative to her for the job, I sure hope I never have to be a waitress again!)
After starting it didn't take me to long to figure out that my area of the facility was not the favorite, was not well accepted, and I was the lone ranger over there!
Thank-goodness I had a wonderful friend there that helped me and we prayed together, we prayed daily - sometimes things were better and sometimes they weren't. It doesn't pay to write up the trials, they were there no doubt, but it does pay to say that eventually I learned to love my job and love my clients. I believe it was the best job I ever had. Then came Christmas that year 2009, they decided to "shut down" my job. If I wanted to I could take my friends job who would be moving to Misery (Missouri). Now, my supportive friend who helped me get through to this point would be leaving... and to top it off the job she supported me in would be gone - a long with the people that I had learned to love.
Well, I took the job and we closed down shop it was bittersweet and I would need to learn some new things.
Turn ahead 2 years...
Today it is January 17th, 2012. I can honestly say that I have never been so happy at a job. We have become like a family, all of us co-workers...
and we laugh.
One of the girls who is quite a bit younger today was "wrong for the first time in her life". She told me it doesn't happen that often so we could go ahead and write it down. She had called a "little bowl" a "little boy"....
"Oh look here is a little boy" (she says as she is in the cupboard looking for a small bowl)
I look at her and we start laughing so hard. I don't know what was better, the fact that she messed up her words or the fact that we were laughing so hard.
The day before I had made a cake for birthday time. After dinner I cut it and put it on plates. Another staff realized "hey maybe it is to early for that, will it dry out?"
I said I didn't think it would and we kept on doing our own thing. When I left the kitchen I thought to myself "maybe I could shut this bi-fold door to the kitchen and that would be kind of like a big tupperware bowl and keep the cake fresh"
What the heck Pam...
are you going crazy...
I started laughing so hard to myself and then told the other two what I had thought.
I again don't know what was better, the fact that I had the thought in the first place, or the fact that we were laughing so hard I didn't think I would make it to the bathroom in time...
and she says later that day "I think I am getting like you Pam, I have to Pee like right now!"
and today she says "Wow, I think I am getting old lady knees like you guys... my knee's sure feel stiff today"
and then she takes this piece of material and wraps it up in a ball and sets it on her head, gets out a little glue and makes a few flowers. The next thing you know she is sporting a new hat for crazy hat day...
and I remember when we started working together another said "I can't sing" and told me a sad story about how she was told by a teacher to lip the song... and her husband to be told her she couldn't sing. I assured her that everyone can sing - if you can talk - you can sing. It warms my heart to see her sing once in awhile now and to put up her arms and take me for a dance around the room with our new knees!
and we are all laughing...
and I love to laugh so much
BUT
even better than laughing is laughing with friends! We have a boss who seems to understand that we like to laugh. She plays in the reindeer games sometimes also. She is supportive and yet is able to handle situations when they arise also. We are Blessed that she understands we don't so much need a boss as we need someone who is supportive of our work and believes in us. I would say she fits that bill and we are proud that she took on the position when she did and that we have come so far as a team. Together, sometimes I feel like we could save the world with our fun.
I think I can safely say this is the best job I ever had!
We have had so many good times that I can't even begin to write them all down here. And I remember this day
With Great love and joy in my heart.

GOOD NIGHT!

As I sit here at the computer I am getting ready to say good-night. My mind is turning down and I think is ready to shut off... and then it comes on and I am overwhelmed by this sense of Love that I can not describe with out words. It starts at my heart and it radiates out towards the world and up towards the Heavens... and I wonder if Jesus is listening to me?
Does He really understand how much I love Him? I am so very Blessed with family and friends and so very thankful that I have the relationships that I do. I wonder if He designed this night?
Does He really want me to feel this Joy inside that I feel? This sense of love so deep that I know it can only come from someone far greater than I.
He touches my heart in places I didn't know where even there.
How does God touch your heart?
He places in it himself, and in Himself is all that you have grown to love... and even when you are not looking right at what you love - you feel it, you know they are there and that you are connected by something so great and beautiful that if you let it ... it will sweep you away into a place that is only meant for you and your creator. He will hold you as you look at things that aren't so fun to look at and then replace it with of love and joy. I have had alot of things that I have needed to look at over the years. Things I needed to repent and change...
no wonder I am filled with so much love and joy.
Thank-you sweet Jesus for my heart and that you have allowed me to feel, learn and grow. Thank-you from the bottom of my heart that you have allowed me to live here for such a time as this. My cup is filled to overflowing. You hold my family and friends, my relationships, all, in Your hand. I praise your name Holy Lord.
... and as I wind down for some Blessed sleep
I end with
GOODNIGHT!

Holly Dazzle

I just found this picture on face book. When I saw it I was drawn to it immediately. It is a picture of Jaci Anna at the Holly Dazzle Parade in Mpls, Mn. It was taken in December 2011. Jaci was invited to go to the parade by family friends the DeMars. I remember many years ago my friend Minerva taking us to this same Parade. It was probably about 1994 or so. She invited all of us to go with her. We stood out on the street and watched the beauty of winter before us. All bundled up, standing together and seeing with amazement the beautiful lights displayed on floats of all different colors and sizes. We also went to the Macy's Christmas display. I felt so honored that she would be willing to take the kids and I. No one I knew really liked driving up there in the crowds of people and I so wanted my kids to be able go.
I remember now with love in my heart the kind and loving friend that Minerva was to us. She took us many places we wouldn't have been able to go if it wasn't for her. Always, she let me know that my kids were welcome and how good they were. I hope that some day Jaci Anna will be able to look back and remember the kindness of a friend and how it makes a cold winters night so beautiful.

Good-bye

In this picture Nola Jean was just learning to wave good bye. I was taking every opportunity to have her wave. Carol snapped this picture of her waving "good-bye" to the Llama. When I look at it I know that this moment will be forever etched in my mind. It seems they are just born and the next thing you know they are waving "good bye". Thank-you Lord for our children, what a Blessing you have given to us. I will always cherish the days You have given me to live here on Your earth. The Joy of Lord fills my soul as I think of all I have been given.

TIME

I love this picture, so I believe I need to write a little bit about it in order to "post" it to my blog. It was taken in Mankato, Minnesota. I remembered the park when I got there but hadn't been there for many years. Jeff, mom, Ann, Nola Jean and myself went there to meet up with Nola Jean's momma and daddy. They were taking NIck and Heathers Engagement pictures and we were watching our Nola Jean. It was a beautiful fall day, with play ground equipment and animals to look at. Nola Jean was so excited about the whole thing that it made me excited! This is what I love most about children...
1. All they really want is your time, they don't even know if you have money.
2. All you really need is time to spend with them.
3. When you are with them with no other agenda, the time you spend will be given back to you ten fold.
4. They bring a joy to your heart that you can get no where else...except from the Creator who Blessed you with them in the first place.
5. When they grow up - if you took time with them, they will always love you.
6. When they leave your home - they will continue the circle
7. And the moments in time will never end.
...and I love this picture
I am so happy we were given this time!

Jordyn Noel

HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY JORDYN NOEL HARREN!

It was one year ago today that our little angel came into the world. A planned C-section for 1/11/11. It is so amazing to me how time just keeps marching on. As our baby girl smiles for all those around her - I drink in the softness of her skin on photo's...
and wish with all that is within me that she were here... I just want to hold her and sing happy birthday to her. I want to see her reach for her dolly and fold it into her arms as she loves it, hear her soft spoken baby words and the sound of her cuddled up in her crib with her warm jammies on...
but then I realize she is here...
she is etched in the very blood that flows through me and gives my heart reason to beat.
They are all a part of who I am. My babies, each and every one of them giving me a reason to live, a purpose in life, and I stop once again and lift my arms to the Heavens and thank the Creator for the beauty of family.

SMILE!

When I look at this picture now it is January 2012. I can almost feel the moment when my mom stood before us with a 60's camera. I bet she was so happy we were sitting still and together. She looks at her two babies through the lens and says "SMILE"!
... he leans forward and beams that smile
... the one that lets her know this is only for a moment and then he will be on to new things.
... and before you know it we are off the chair, living life, and it is 50 years later.

Fen Shway

When the little guy came to stay with us a few days...

It was a cleaning day at the Schmidt's. Although I am sure you remember that grammie pammie got a new knee and should be able to vacuum in the most remote places...
it just seemed to me that one who could stand under the desk should be able to vacuum it with the greatest of ease.

So, I lined up the vacuum in a fen shway sort of way and handed him the nozzle. The little guy was a born pro... he was able to take advantage of his height and weight and get in the corners, amazed by the amount of things he was picking up never to be seen again.

Won't his momma be so proud of him? As although he isn't bringing home a bumble bee - he is bringing home a skill that he will want to show her. Hopefully it will be at an appropriate time and not when everyone is ready to fen shway and hit the hay!

The Voice of an Angel (another moment)

I first met him about a year ago. He is dressed neatly, walking towards me, very handsome, muscle running around every bone, chiseled to a fine form. He is maybe around 78 - I actually am not sure, but, I do know that his only living relative is a daughter and she is about 60. I love to stop by and say hello to him. He is a quiet man and tells me he loves this time he has been given. It has allowed him to slow down and now he can read more. When I ask him what he likes to read (thinking I can pick him up some books of his choice), he tell me that he reads the Bible. There is enough information in there and he is sorry but he never had the time to read it before. It is so rich in knowledge wisdom and hope. By his commercial bed stand and twin bed lays a beautiful Bible.
When I stop by next he is sitting in a wheel-chair, the treatments are making him weak but he believes they are shrinking the tumor that has pushed against his eye, causing blurred vision. He has a beautiful voice that offers strength for the day even though I feel rushed inside I want to sit here forever. He is reading from the only book he needs.

Months have passed and I find him laying in his bed. I ask him if he would like me to put some lotion on his back. I can tell he has lost weight but the handsome man he was shows through and I can see him looking back at me. He thanks me so much for stopping by and tells me to wake him up if he is sleeping.

Yesterday I went into his room. The color of cancer shows on his sleeping face. I gently say his name and ask him if he would like me to put some lotion on his back. He smiles at me and takes the energy he has stored while sleeping to turn to his side. I put the lotion into my hands and rub them together so the coldness sinks into me and when I go to touch the lotion to his skin - the muscle which defined his body is gone, and the bone that keeps his skin in place is next to my touch. I put on lots of lotion and he tells me "my skin is so dry, I don't know what it is, that feels so good, there isn't alot of energy for me to talk, my voice is so dry, I am so weak."

I tell him not to worry, just relax. Not wanting him to feel uncomfortable in the silence and yet I don't want to talk so he feels like he has to talk with me. In the moment of silence the words come to me in the form of a song. I sing to him for what seems like along time. When I leave he is sleeping and yet he says thank-you.

Today he is being pushed in a wheel-chair towards me. He reaches out his hand to me and says "this is the lady who sang to me yesterday, she has such a beautiful voice, it was so beautiful." I smile and touch his hand. (no one has ever told me I have a beautiful voice)

... and when I think about it - I know in my heart that it was not my voice singing to him. It was the voice of many angels bringing comfort to him as he lay in the weakness of life - looking forward to the promises of the Bible that he finally had time to relax and read.

And I lift my eyes to the Heavens and thank the Lord for these moments.


This story is a figment of my imagination. If it sounds like I am writing about someone you know - maybe it is. Take the time to be with those needing your help and love, take the time to let God use your voice to bring comfort to the hurting.

Harvest Fest 2011

For someone who does not believe in Halloween - I sure do love what I call in my mind "Harvest Fest". I enjoy how excited the kids are about getting all dressed up and being able to pretend to be someone or something else for that little space in time. They get to go around with their parents and knock on doors, showing their costumes to the neighbors and receiving a few treats. This year JaciAnna, Conner and Jordyn got to go to a lot of different celebrations, which we were thankful for as during the actual day their mom was very sick and Conner was just getting better. Their dad took them out to some houses after school anyway as they had all been so excited about the evening "Harvest Festing"! Nola Jean went to her Aunt Lindsey and Uncle Josh's house and they went around their neighborhood. Just enough excitement for her and then she also got to share some of her treats with Baxter. I see the pictures from this beautiful day - and I love the idea of celebrating with neighbors and friends, of being able to dress up. I love the innocence of children letting us enjoy them, the excitement of their parents being able to share their children with others, and the simpleness of a grandma who loves to see children enjoying life. So, once again I petition the courts to see if we just can't change the name of this celebration and a few of the rules. Take the goblins, vampires and mummies and change it to fun things - and celebrate together with all the love of Jesus Christ. He takes such joy in His children and I am so glad He choose me to have you.

The sounds of fall

It was a beautiful fall in Minnesota. It seems we waited forever for spring to arrive, when it did we got poured on and when summer finally did come it brought drought conditions. You wonder how this can happen but then the saying has always been "if you don't like the weather in Minnesota wait a day and it is sure to change!" That is truly what we have seen most of the year of 2011. What I loved most about this fall was all the gatherings. It started with meeting at Sibley Park in Mankato for Nick and Heathers engagement pictures. We had watched our Nola Jean so they could go to take some pictures in Mpls first and then grams, Ann, Nola Jean and myself met up with everyone in Mankato. The weather co-operated, it looked like rain - but it never did come... It was a beautiful fall day.

Then it was to Carlson's apple orchard in Winsted. We had the little guy for a few days and then we went to meet up with his momma... It was Ann, Lila, Grams, Lacey, Nola Jean, the little guy and myself that met up with momma, Jaci Anna and Jordyn in Winsted. After enjoying a little nature we went to Howard Lake and ate pizza in this great little private place restaurant. The kids were great, the weather co-operated, it was windy and cold but dressed appropriate... It was a beautiful fall day.

Then it was to Emma Krumbee's in Belle Plaine. We had Chris and Emily and the kids, Curt, Grams and myself. We met up there with Lindsey, Josh and Jeff. It was such a beautiful day outside and we truly took advantage of our $5.00 entry fee. Played in the park, road the train, took a hayride, saw the scarecrows and road a wood horse. Although it was October we were fine with no big coats, the sun was shining the weather co-operated... It was a beautiful fall day.

The girls took some other fall trips on their own also, enjoying all the nature that Minnesota has to offer. Lindsey went to Foley to help the kids make scarecrows and enjoy some leave jumping. Lots of pictures were taken and memories were made. I am so thank-ful to our Lord that I get to live in such a place as this. It is beautiful most of the time and when it isn't -
it seems...
if you listen close...
you can hear the sound of the leaves dancing in the wind, the fresh rain dripping from the hues of the leaves and memories being made.