Flowers and peanut butter

Lindsey came home on Friday afternoon to work on flowers for Chrissy Dotolo's wedding.
She brought many beautiful flowers and did a beautiful job putting them together into arrangements that would express the brides personality to all her guests. While she was working she got to hear a few stories from our Conner D. It seems if you make him a piece of peanut butter toast, he has a song to sing for you...

I like peanut butter on my toast,
I like peanut butter on my underwear, (as he looks at you and smiles, thinking, wondering if you think underwear is a swear word or if he can keep going with these lyrics!)
I like peanut butter in my hair!

He makes her laugh and that is what he loves to do.
By the time I get home he is ready for another round of eats.
This time it will be grapes...
and he eats them silently, without a song, thinking.
He then heads into the living room and starts telling me how the flowers that Lindsey is working on have stickers. These stickers will poke you and you will bleed if you touch them. Well, that explains everything! No wonder the police car, tractor, hay wagon, firetruck, and helicopter are ready to go - pigs and cows lined up on the fire station waiting for market! You must always be ready when Lindsey is working, you never know who the next one to get poked by a sticker may be!

God's grace

On Thursday (May 19th, 2011) we went to Emily's to bring her a tub of clean laundry. Grams had carefully washed and ironed things, I put them in outfits. We added a few newly bought garage sale items, and yes, with Lila, grams and myself we had a car full!
When we got there everything was taken to its proper place and I headed down to the basement. For some reason I do love it down there - I feel what my grand children were doing even though I can't always be there. I see how hard my daughter and son in law work to make ends meet for their family...
and then they come home to raise their family...
it is all in a days hours that you loose track...
time seems to get away on us as we handle the daily life skills.
How can you work 40 plus hours, make supper, buy groceries, wash clothes, clean house, play with the kids, teach family values, take baths, get ready for the next day, and prepare your kids for a restful night sleep - then get 8 hours of sleep and wake up to start it all again? I believe it is only by God's Grace we can do all things through Him who gives us strength!

I think we will take Conner D home with us tonight when we leave. If he is willing to leave his family for a little time at gramma and papa's house. It will be a nice break from his two sisters. It will be a nice break for his mom and dad. It seems when you have three kids and one is gone you have had half the world lifted off your shoulders. You get that break that you need to get you through another couple of months. Oh, please hear me, it isn't that you don't love your family, each and every one, it is just that one being gone for a small amount of time makes a big difference on how you look at things when they come back!

The little guy is thinking about it. He just isn't to sure he wants to come if his dad isn't coming, and how about his mom? I don't have the heart to tell him that I don't want his dad and mom right now - I just want him. I want to listen to his stories, and see his smiling face. I want to hold his little body and read him a story. I want to give him a sponge bath in the sink, put his little feet in the water and gently wash them. I want to rock him and sing him a song until he falls asleep in my arms.

Wonderful! He has told his mom and dad the reason he doesn't want to come is that I drive to slow in my car. The white van always wins and he wants to be the winner! Well, his dad and I can take care of that one quick! Chris, move that grocery getter over - greenie is passing you by...
I will drive fast -
so that I can have him for a little while -
and the green car wins, we are on or way to Arlington with Conner D and Lila in the back seat. We have just eaten at Raunaby and it is 7:30.
Passing the white van, waving at mom and dad, they start in their back seat conversation. It is the funniest thing that on this 2 hour drive the two of them talk to each other continuously. I am not joking about this, there was not a 5 second pause! They weren't interrupting each other either... they were conversing continuously for 1 and 1/2 hours! I wanted so bad to remember everything I was hearing. I know they talked a lot about the plastic pig they had. This little piggie went to market, this little piggie went home, then I heard Conner telling Lila that God is right here in your heart, Lila saying - yes, yes, that's right my boy! There conversation was like music in the back seat...
you can hear the melody but your not sure what the words are!
I thanked my God again at this moment... realizing it is only by His Grace that I am here to savor this moment, and although I can't save it - I can blog it with hopes of one day reading it and saying "I remember!"

About 1/2 hour from home, Lester Prairie outskirts to be exact,Gradma Dorius says "How about if we can see who can be quiet the longest, starting right now...?"

By the time we get into Lester Prairie the two of them are sleeping! We get to Arlington and unload the little guy into bed with grandpa. He won't know until the next morning that he indeed got to sleep with papa!! I get Lila to bed, take the laundry basket down to gramma's and return home. And, there is the little guy in my bed yet, snuggled next to his papa. I breath in the scent of his hair and skin as I gently kiss his forehead and I head upstairs to bed.

Who would have ever thought that God's Grace would carry me this far?
Thank-you Jesus for little guys, car rides, and that little piggie that went wee wee wee all the way home!

Forgiveness

Today for work I had "Headline News". It is where I read the paper to a group. We try to keep up, and interested in some of the world issues, and then we read the Glencoe Enterprise. If it were not for my job I would not be reading these reports of life. I don't believe most of them, why should I? The headline news was about Arnold. I remember him from movies when I was younger. Kindergarten cop is the one I think of. He was funny, had a great accent, nice abs, nice cheek bones, nice teeth, beautiful wife, healthy kids, lots of money, people liked him, he seemed to like people,it seems as though his life and family had been blessed beyond measure. Then in a flash, people start to talk, they print it in the news and his life is lost in an abyss of back stabbing, yapping, and judging that he can't seem to stop, even with the money he has left after years of supporting two families. It doesn't seem much like people care as they take his family and slather them through the mud with him. (Sadness always follows the break-up of a family. God did not mean for their to be divorce - He knew how hurtful it is children, little or grown.) They took his picture for the article, someone got him in his car while he was driving. I imagine he was at a stop sign, rain coming down, wipers on... And his handsome face looked filled with grief...
pain pulling at his cheek bones... and hardened lines covered his face...
as the paparazzi fills their mind with greed, looking for someone to give millions to if they can be the first one to get a picture of this innocent child who was fathered by one of the most known wealthy actors of my time. I believe if the paparazzi doesn't find a picture soon - they will make one up, they will do whatever they have to so they can be the first...
the first to prove that Arnold isn't perfect, never was and never will be.
I prayed for him today.
He isn't perfect, but, he is a man - made by God, loved unconditionally.
I pray again,
Lord, forgive us sinners. Sometimes we seem to get tripped up in the world, loose our footing and start to follow Gods that are not You. Please wrap the this family in Your loving arms, use this as a time to show the world what forgiveness is all about. And lord, Bless all those that have made mistakes that will change their life as they know it. There is no turning back - help them to be picked up by You, turned around and set back on solid ground. I pray wherever the family is now - that a peace will cover them all and they will know they are being prayed for and loved by You
and by me.
Amen!

Genetics

I find it so amazing...
How things are passed down from one generations to the next.
The thing I wonder about here?
How did Dallas Meyer's genes
Find there way to Chris Harren?
And wouldn't my dad be proud to know that his oldest granddaughter found herself a husband that is so much like he was?
Funny how life works
Funny how genetics have been studied for years
- and yet I don't think there is an answer to this one.

Who is who?

In May it seems that all the school classes take some sort of field trip. Of course, that would include Conner D. and Ms. Kathy's preschool class. It was to be quite an event, with dad and mom going out for supper the night before, it was their 8th anniversary! They stopped at the grocery store after their date and got some lunch for the trip which would be the next day.
Lunch? Check
Matching shirts? Check
Matching shorts? Check
Sunglasses? Check
I believe we are ready to go! The trip would include a stop at the St.Cloud fire department, the aviation field, and a train ride into Minneapolis! There would be quite a few times where Conner D. would be able to catch his reflection in the window, wondering if it was really him... or was it his dad... maybe it is Spider man? I wonder if Spider Man takes field trips with his class room? If he did I am sure that he would be quite the same as Conner D... I often times get them mixed up when I see them together. When Conner D wears his tight fitting Spider Man PJ pants - I need to look twice...
Is it really Spider Man?
Or is it Conner D?
I look at the pictures that have been taken of the day. Dreaming about what was said, trying to imagine what went on inside his little head. He has got to be one of the cutest little guys I have ever seen...
and I just can't decide who is the cutest...
Spider Man?
Conner D?
I guess the answer is obvious -
When you are on a field trip with Ms. Kathy and she is your teacher -
I would have to say that Conner D would be the appropriate answer!
Sorry Spider Man!

For it is by Grace you have been saved through Faith. Epheasians 2?8

When I was a young lady - in high school we watched a film on the Holocaust in one of our classes. I don't remember a whole lot about it, but I do remember being very frightened about the image that stayed in my mind. The shot I remember was women standing by the side of the road, crying their hands up, screaming in heart pain... their children being loaded up in trucks, taken from them...

After I had Emily, and after I was married... I remembered again this image and a fear welled up inside of me. Now I was part of a family, what if this would be me and my baby? At a time when Curt and I were talking about life I told him about the film shot that haunted my mind, told him I was afraid. What he told me was that something like this would probably never happen again in America... people would stand up, we have learned a lot sense that awful time. The relief I felt was instant as he held me a peace came over me and I thanked him. It made a difference in me - I decided I would not live in fear. At this time I thought the peace I felt was from Curt and I talking and him giving me assurance. I didn't understand that Curt was a husband comforting his wife but the great peace I felt was the Holy Spirit.

Today in church Pastor Wayne talked about the persecuted church. He showed a picture of two teenage girls in Egypt embracing and tears rolling down their cheeks, they were in a church and mobsters were burning and killing Christians who had come to worship, another group of criminals burning the homes of those attending church. He used it to explain to the conferments that the fact they were joining the church was not a small thing - it is like taking a wedding vow, you are saying "I do" to Christ and reaffirming your baptism. You are not asking for an easy life, you are telling others that you choose to follow Christ - when things are good, and when they are not.

During second service Pastor talked about the persecuted church in China. He told about how they had found this bible hidden in a wall that had the names of followers of Christ in it. They found three of the names listed and killed them...

It all came back and flooded my mind in such an urgency that I would need to share what I could of a conversation I had with Lacey about this same story.

Lacey and I were talking about this same bible, the names of Christians were sought out. They were asked to denounce their belief in Christ in front of them all and their children... if they didn't their children would be killed on the spot. They said nothing...
and the mother looked at her child and said...
"I will see you tonight in Heaven."

As her baby's life was taken by a human on this earth this mother handed her baby to Christ. His tears flowing over a mother who stood in faith.

Lacey said "I want to know a love like this, I am not afraid anymore"

and I knew in this moment... just what she was talking about. Fear is not from the Lord.
The relief I felt was instant.
I knew it was the Holy Spirit - that we are a part of something so much greater than we can even imagine. That our children are His children - we need not be afraid. We stand in faith and pray for His Grace to cover us as we carry on and share what we have learned.
AMEN

Wedding prayers

K took the pre pictures for Lindsey's wedding. He was there in the church with his camera. Sometimes when you are in a place where the Holy Spirit has freedom to move, you see things. You see things captured on film, that can only really be felt with the heart. I said a prayer for K and his photography business, that the Lord would bless his work, bless his family and show him he is loved. I said a prayer for Lindsey and Josh that the Lord would bless and keep their marriage. I said a prayer for all of us... Lord, help us to hear your voice in the midst of the ciaos,help us to always know that you are their with us and most of all that we might have those moments, where we stop and listen and pray. Amen
And today as I look through the pictures, I see the many prayers that were being said in heart language, that people were being loved and angels were dancing.

The ring bearer and his flower girl

When your aunt first asks if you will be in her wedding... there are many steps to take before you are walking down the isle. It starts with the outfits. They must be purchased, and fitted. Then you have to practice. Practice makes perfect.
1) Purchase outfits - practice
2) Have them fitted - talk about the day with your mom
3) Practice
4) Get your hair done - practice
5) Pin on your flower - practice
6) The rings please!

It's all in the way you say it!

Today he needed to talk to his mom. "Mom, Ms. Kathy always asks me if I want to sit down with her and read a book, then she gets a book and sits down with me and reads the whole thing!?"
He is looking at his mother now, searching for the answer he needs - to the question he didn't really ask. His mother is realizing he is making a statement, he is in a way telling on Ms. Kathy"
Mom answers the little guy "well don't you like it when you and Ms.Kathy read a book?"
His answer..."She asks me if I want to read a book, then she sits down and reads the whole book to me?!"
Mom says "well, are you thinking that she needs to word this different? Does Ms. Kathy need to say - how about if you and I sit down and I read a book to you?"
His answer... "Yes, I think that would be more appropriate."

I wondered as I wandered

Today I was walking the halls looking for a lady I needed to sit and talk with for awhile. They call it "one to one" and it is meant to give those that don't have much group contact some time with just one. Talking, doing nails, reading, walking, whatever you can do for them to help ease the pain of time.

I found her, she was sitting in her room in front of the window reading a menu from the kitchen. The menu consists of 7 days, 3 meals a day, and several choices for each meal. I said hello and asked her if she would like me to read to her. She stated she was reading the menu and had been for quite some time, it all looks awful...
there isn't one thing she likes.

...how many people are waking up this beautiful sunny day without a menu of choices? Where their food will be stuff that has been packaged and shipped overseas to them - water to be added before you serve it? I wonder if they think the food is awful?

...how many people are waking up this morning without a pillow top mattress? Where their place to sleep was the wet dirt, the pillow for their head was their own matted hair. I wonder if they think about pain as we do?

...how many people are waking up this morning with the chill of the damp air bringing goose bumps to their skin. Where their blanket is the clothes that they have worn for the past week. I wonder if they think about down filled comforters, about the feel of a heavy blanket snuggled around you to fight the cold?

...how many people are waking up this morning to see their children huddled together because of cold, to know there will be no cheerio's or milk for breakfast - listening to their mournful cry that they can not comfort. I wonder if they have dreams for them, I wonder?

... I wonder as I wander through this life - seeing the discrepancies between poverty and wealth, hearing my own voice give life to the complaints of every day living... if God can hear me cry for them...

as I wake up with a leg ache from my pillow top mattress, pull off the heavy comforters, rise to get ready for the day tripping over my purchases of clothes for my job, print off the menu to bring to her for next week...

God, can you hear me cry for her? For this lady whose mind no longer lets her feel the hurt of other people. The loneliness she must feel as she looks at that menu with no vision,
and with no hunger, wonders what she will have to eat.

Easter Hats

This year Easter fell on Sunday April 23rd. It was the week after Lindsey and Josh's wedding. They were moving into their new house. Conner had just had his tonsils out on April 19th and was not feeling the best yet. So, our Nola Jean and her momma came to Arlington on Sunday. We went to church together and then all went up to the Arlington Haus to eat their Easter buffet. It was $10.95 per person. It was an enjoyable meal with Curt, myself, mom, Jeff, Lacey and Nola Jean. After the dinner we came home to some of the first sunshine and warm weather that we have had all year. Remember, last week-end it was snowing out! I did a little work outside and Nola Jean, gramps and Lacey came out to enjoy the day also. It was the first time her little feet had ever touched the grass, she didn't care for it and we all enjoyed laughing together. Carol had bought the girls all Easter hats so we try ed Nola's on... she wasn't crazy about the feel of that either!
On Monday Lacey and Nola Jean took grandma to Foley so she could stay with Conner for the week. While Lacey and Chris went to St.Cloud to take care of cell-phone buisness, Emily tryed to get pictures of all four of the grandkids together. This is NOT an easy task as you can see. Conner was trying to get Jordyn to stop crying, Nola was not going to be wearing the Easter hat... she was to busy wondering what Jordyn was crying about. Maybe if Nola gives Jordyn a little push with her hand, and Conner gives the pacifier a little push that will get her to quiet down? NOT! Through the whole event, Jaci Anna was the big sister, with her Easter hat on and a big smile, holding her cousin as if nothing was wrong.
I love these moments, captured on film. I hope they will help us remember that everything was new at one time. We need to step out on the grass, take a chance, and sometimes we just need to smile no matter what!

Elegance

I needed to write a blog for this picture. You see, Carol ordered these free wine bottles for Miranda's wedding in August 2010. She put them on mirrors and set one on each table. She added some tall pink flowers, leaving a sleek, elegant party decoration. After Miranda's wedding they were boxed up and brought to my garage. On April 16th, we set them out again only this time adding some purple flowers for Lindsey's wedding. The Arlington Community Hall looked as lovely as it ever has. White table clothes, mirror in the middle with the wine bottle flowers, and a purple heart to set it off. After Lindsey's wedding they were packed up to go to Deb for her son's wedding in August.
Sometimes I can't hardly believe the beauty of a simple bottle.
The beauty of a friend.
And how the simple elegance in life is most often free.

The dance

Another important part of the wedding for Josh and Lindsey was the reception and dance. They have some dancin' friends and family that like to have fun! Over a year ago they booked the DJ and the caterer from Mankato. The meal would start at 6:00, music at 7:00 and dancing at 8:00.
Everyone was at the community hall socializing to soft back ground music and a snack bar with a cheese fountain. Liz? Well she was looking for some supports for the cake!?
A little before 6:00 the wedding party arrived and we were ready to have supper. The supper consisted of a wonderful meal of Chicken cordon blue, garlic potatoes,and beans. There was also a dessert bar and pretzels served through out the night.
After dinner was served to everyone the wedding party gave their thank-yous. It started with a "toast" from Mike, Josh's friend who was best man. He gave a great speech on how Josh is a man of few words, in fact on Saturday when they were together before the wedding, he counted how many words Josh used and it was 52! It was a very fitting, funny, and appropriate speech - getting some laughs and yet showing a true friend. Next Lacey gave her "toast" - it was a very touching speech on how she always remembered going into her sister's rooms and just loving to be there! She would help Lindsey hang up all her pictures from tiger beat of all the hunks... and now how fitting that she found her pin up guy and he was not only good looking, but smart and sweet! She talked about Lindsey always being there for her family... she teared up, we all teared up... then Emi gave her speech talking about the "perfect" child. She told a camp story about how when we dropped her and Lindsey off at camp that she was afraid to be alone. Lindsey gave up time with her friends to stay in the same room as Emi, then from bunk beds to sharing the same bunk so that her sister who was 4 1/2 years older wouldn't be afraid! I cried and laughed and I don't know if I have ever had a better moment in my life... than to see my three girls, all grown up - loving each other! Last but not least, Lindsey and Josh gave their speeches. Lindsey said thank-you to the many people that helped her to get ready for the day. She went through and thanked everyone, her Pastor, the Praise Team, Justin, Jan, the groomsmen, and attendants, her friends and family and of course Liz, her boyfriend, Amanda, and Starla.
I believe Liz was there to hear it... as the cake was out on the table and it looked beautiful.
Thank-you to Amanda the Georgia cake decorator!!
Then Josh gave his speech... he said "Thank-you" and sat down.
After Mike's speech, Josh got alot of laughs with the short and sweet, man of few words, thank-you!
Now - on with the show!
and as I always say
"if you stumble, make it a part of the dance!"

The wedding

It has arrived... the day where my baby girl will take another name and become one in Christ with the love of her life... JOSH JOHNSON!
Ann has stayed overnight at her sister Suzanne's - thus freeing up her Friday night bed for Chris, JaciAnna and Conner Dallas. Lila has stayed overnight at her sister Ann's - thus freeing up her room for Emily Jo, Jordyn Noel and Taylor (their friend who came to help with the kids). Upstairs is Lacey, K and Nola Jean. Lindsey slept in the family room on the blow up bed. Dad and I in our room - everyone had settled in for a short winters night. Yes, I said WINTER! It had started snowing on Friday night about 10:00pm and there was a beautiful covering on the ground and trees. I believe it was probably so beautiful as you know in April the snow won't be staying around to long!
7:30 am - people are up and showering already. I start to put hot rollers in JaciAnna's hair, she isn't crazy about it but we get them in. Then come's Emi's hair, a set of hot rollers in that thick beautiful hair. By 9:30 they are ready to rumble and hit the streets to the United Methodist Church. I leave for the church about 10:30am. My hair is done with just some touch ups needed. The fellowship rooms are filled with girls, girls and more girls. Veronica, the hairdresser and her friend have the bykota room filled with things for fixing hair and putting make-up on. There is: Emily, JaciAnna, Lacey, Anna, Liz, Starla, Veronica, her friend, myself and then most importantly LINDSEY KAY!! They are preparing for the wedding and it is beautiful to see all those girls together laughing! Liz is looking for a drill?
11:45am - the rest of the wedding party and some of their friends arrive in the fellowship room and Starla goes to get the sub sandwiches. We set them out along with chips, dips, pickles, and most importantly CHOCOLATE!! Josh is here now, along with his groomsmen, Matt, Mike, and Moon. Chris and Conner arrive and everyone dishes in and starts eating. It is a relaxed wonderful atmosphere... as Liz is again running for something - this time it is a hammer.
1:00pm - it is time to start taking pictures. Josh's family is now here and they all get their family pictures. The groomsmen are next, then the bridesmaids and of course our family. I really appreciate how hard it is to get a big family together. I never thought of my family as big until this moment. Dad, myself, Emily Jo, Chris, JaciAnna, Conner Dallas, Jordyn Noel, Lindsey, Josh, Lacey, K, Nola Jean, Gramma Dorius and Jeff! ZOWIE!! We have grown to 14 people soaking wet!
2:30 - pictures are done and people are starting to arrive. Justin Rierson is here also to sing "Butterfly Kisses" as Lindsey walks in. We are so proud of him for coming as he only knows me through work and agreed at the last minuet to do the song for her.It is the same song that Emily walked down to 8 years ago on May 8th!.
3:00 - everyone is being seated and things are getting ready. I have been busy praying through out the whole church for this day, for the people here and for the couple to be married! Jeffrey Allan walks mom and I into the church and we take our seats. Jan Meyer's is playing organ and comes over to the side of the church to play the keyboard for the Praise Team. The song they sing is "We all Bow Down" - it was for the gathering and the harmony that they sang was beautiful! Next Andrew starts the slide show and Chris sings "Cinderella" as the pictures of Josh and Lindsey's young life move before us on the big screen. It is now a little after three and the music changes as Jan starts to play butterfly kisses and the couples walk up to the front of the church. As Justin gets to the verse "she changes her name today"... Lindsey Kay comes walking down the church isle with her arm hooked on her dads...
It is breathtaking...
I will forever hold this moment in my mind...
3:30 - the wedding vows have started and they will light their unity candles. The unity candle set was a gift from Laura Pioske and the candle holder set was a gift from Starla... it is indeed beautiful as they go to take the two single candles and light the big one. The Praise Team is singing "The Power of Your Love" and the Holy Spirit is dancing through out the church.
4:00 - by this time the couple is married and they are ushering people outside the church. There are more pictures for the wedding party to take and the guests will go out to the Arlington community Center.
It was indeed a beautiful wedding.
When Lindsey and Josh were going to Pastor Wayne for their counseling they said the most important thing to them would be that the presence of God would be in the church and that the service would change someones life for Christ.
He was
It did!!!
Amen!!