Silo icecream

We started going to Nimrod, Mn. in 1984. It ended up to be the spot where we took our family on Memorial and Labor day. Curt's mom and dad own a trailer house on a lot by the "Big Crow" river. There have been many memories made there. The one that I remember the most is how even when we left for home...
we still had something to look forward to...
an ice cream cone at the "Silo" in Motley. It is a big ole silo on the side of the four lane hiway that has been cleaned out, fixed up, and filled with all different kinds of wonderful ice cream. There is also an antique store and a flea market that take place there all summer long. There has never been a time that we didn't save enough money for the trip home to buy each one a cone!!

Lord, I thank-you that through the years we have been allowed this time together as family. I remember being a young girl - my only prayer was that I wanted to have a family. I didn't ask for any specifics, just a family. I believe that you have blessed me with the best possible family and friends in the world. I am so thank-ful to You that you have given me all these precious memories. Bless the Lord oh my soul!!

The sound of "GOOD BYE"

On Labor Day Monday the whole family was at our house. We had a beautiful day together reminiscing, laughing and enjoying each others company. We also had what we termed a nice "indoor" picnic. When the day was getting close to an end we went outside to enjoy some beautiful weather and get a few pictures of the kids. When it was time for everyone to go to their own homes we were all still outside. It all started innocent enough...
Lindsey was in the van helping Emi get everyone "hooked" in and giving them hugs.
After Emi's van was loaded she started signing this song... "GOOD BYE".
Before you know it...
the kids were singing...
then Lindsey, Lacey and I joined in...
and we were all harmonizing to "GOOD BYE" -
LAUGHING, as Emi and the kids drove away.
We were all starting to calm down some on the front lawn and here came Emi down the street, in here white van, kids loaded, windows down...
singing "GOOD BYE"
So we all joined in again with her singing and laughing...
Then Curt and I continued to share good-bye's with the other family as they left one by one...
and suddenly my heart is lonesome for the sound of "GOOD BYE"

Time, Teaching and Prayers

I remember so well my dads family. He loved them all so very much.

Joy, Pauline, Bob, Betty, Dick, Dorothy, Dallas, Maxine, Gene, Marilyn. They went boy girl right down to the end... ending at 10.

Through the years there have been many stories shared. There were stories of great joy, grief, funny, loving, sweet, but most of all stories of loyalty exchanged in such a large family. When I was feeling quite melancholy one night, missing my dad, I asked if anyone had a story about my dad.

One of my favorite was when my Aunt Marilyn (the baby of the family) shared that she had wanted a new pair of shoes. There was no money for her to have new shoes, so my dad went out and bought them for her. I really see that loyalty show through in my daughter Lindsey. When her sisters are needing her, she is right there for them. She makes sure that she gets to meet with them and to see their kids - she makes sure we all know that she loves us even when there isn't alot of money for material things.

Another is the time he was playing in the horse barn. If your from a family of 10 you all know that when mom and dad leave there is still rules to follow. Well, this fine day the rules were not being followed and their little Dally got kicked in the face by a horse. There were places to be headed and it would include a Dr. visit. They couldn't remember fore sure what the story was about how he got hurt, but we can be sure that they don't think mom and dad ever did find out about the broken rule. I really see this loyalty in Emily, when I remember the "pact" she helped her sisters to form when we would leave home. When mom and dad would leave there were still rules to follow...
but sometimes broken rules help to form a loyalty to each other. She makes sure she is always teaching love even when there is brokenness.

As they talked about their baby boy being born at home, weighing in at just 4 pounds - I thought of his family. Gramps was put in a shoe box and set on the door of the wood cook stove with some blankets, an aunt coming and saying "I don't know if this one is going to make it Viv". But, family comes together in love surrounding his little body with prayers... He survived, ending up to be the "biggest boy" in his family. Going into the army at 160 lbs. coming home at 220. I really see this loyalty in Lacey, when I think of how she prays for all of us. She continues to study her Bible and bring knowledge to us about our Lord as she baths her family in love. She makes sure she is always praying, surrounding us even in our failures.

Who would have thought?

This out fit makes me want to have summer every day...

When I see this picture it brings back a driving memory from her momma,
Lacey Lynn Schmidt.
I remember quite well all the girls going through drivers training and getting their license. I do not remember it because of the "hands on" care that I gave during this time. The driving part was left solely to their father. I just couldn't do it. The first time I tryed with Emi I felt like every time we met a car she would go towards it. Now, whether this was true or not - I can't say - it is just what my "mother eyes" felt. I believe the reason I remember this period of life so well is the feeling you get in your stomach each time they pulled away from the safety of our home.

Emi and Linsdey took their drivers training in Arlington and got their license for driving as soon as they could. They didn't drive a whole lot - but, they were allowed to use the car whenever they needed or had something planned. When it came time for Lacey to take her behind the wheel, she was not ready and she had no intention of getting her license. After some time her mother, despite her "mother eyes", did encourage her to get her license. It seems so important that you get that and have the freedom to go places you need to go when no one else is there to depend on. We did sign her up for drivers training in New Ulm and she took her classes and behind the wheel with Miranda. Before we knew it she had her license but still didn't drive a whole lot. In January of Lacey's senior year, she bought a green Chevy, signed up for classes at Ridgewater College, and that was kind of the last we saw of her.
The little green Chevy hit the road...
Lacey behind the wheel...
and if you need to get anywhere in Minnesota, or for that matter the United States...
just ask Lacey.
Who would have ever thought??

GRACE

The word grace...
When the Lord follows us through our life. He see's our sin and yet loves us so much that He covers us with this amazing Grace.

He takes all of our junk and gives us something in return - and when we look back to see the guilt and shame of all we have done...

it is gone...

and all that remains

is something so beautiful, that you can't put it in to words.

School shoes

This year on labor day week-end we did something different. The week-end before labor day Stapels, Mn. had a big celebration. Emi's family, Curt, I, Lila and Jeff decided we would go to the trailer house on this week-end instead of the actual labor day. We had a wonderful time together (it is where I got to first hear about tentacles"). The work week was then normal, however I had Friday off. I took Thursday and went to Foley and then stayed the night. The next day my Jaci Anna and I went shopping for her school shoes. We were both so excited about the day it was hard to sleep. After some laundry though, I did indeed have a beautiful night sleep in a burnt orange bedroom with a quilted top bed. I thanked God as I lay down on that bed, I thanked Him for everything that I had been given this day.

When we got up in the morning we chatted with the family some and got JaciAnna's things loaded up. You see, she would be staying with us in Arlington until Sunday. On Sunday afternoon her momma, brother and sister would be coming to join her. This was a big time for both Jaci and I. She hadn't stayed alone with us sense she was about 5 years old. (Her and Conner both stayed with us when their momma went to the mayo clinic to have her head checked. Well, that doesn't sound the best - but, hopefully just those words will spark enough memory for us to know this was her last time at our house without mom and dad). We were all excited about the stay and she had done much preparing with mom about it. She was happy, I was happy and off we drove in the little green Chevey with flowers on the door... along with a little more laundry...

We drove to the St.Cloud mall. On this day, in this place, I did what I hadn't done in many many years. I took a little girl shopping to get her school shoes. We had the best time ever and found the perfect pair of shoes for her. We topped it off with a pair of "skinny jeans" and a peach tee shirt with a purple smile face on it. She was happy, I was happy and off we drove in the green chevy with the flowers on the door...

It is now about 1:00pm and we are hungry. It is one of the few times in my life where I didn't really have to be anywhere but with my girl. So, we stopped in Hutch at the McDonalds play land. I just let her play, and play and play... until she was ready to go. It is amazing to me how long she was satisfied just playing with kids she had just met and how perfect the time was, how beautiful moments are when we don't rush through them.

Now it is about 3:00 pm and we are happy. We load up in the car, smiles on our faces, food in our tummies, new shoes in the back seat, flowers on the door -
I look up into the sky...
and I thank God. I thank Him for everything I have been given this day!

Camels, pumpkins and penguins (part 1 and 2)

Part 1:
There has been a lot of talk about camels lately. The little guy is at the neighbors house. Bruce is loading up his truck for hunting, minding his own business. It amazes me sometimes what children notice - Conner is with the other kids but goes over by Bruce...
"What are you doing Bruce"
"I am getting all of my gear ready to go hunting. I am going to go deer hunting"
"Oh, my grandpa and my dad go hunting too"
"They do? Well, what do they go hunting for?"
"They hunt for camels"
"Oh really?, where do they hunt for camels?"
"Right here! They go hunting for camels right around here."
"Oh, they do? What do they do with the camel then?"
"Well, they cook it up and eat it"
"Well Conner do you know what camel tastes like?"
"Yes, it tastes somewhat like chicken"
.... seems to me if Bruce is really a hunter he should have know this! I'm not saying... I'm just sayin'

Part 2:
I had a meeting in St.Cloud on Friday October 19th. We got done about 3:00 and then I went to Foley to pick up the little guy and some laundry! The laundry was loaded and time now to get the little guy settled in his car seat. I am quite excited about this trip for some reason he is too! He talks non stop for the first 10 minuets of our drive and then I hear nothing. A quick look in the rear view tells me that he is sleeping with the angels and it will be a quiet drive home. When the car hits Arlington it is time to stop at gramma dorius's with a load of laundry (or two). I pull the car up, little guy in the back, and open the door. From the back seat...
"gramma, do you know the words to the pumpkin song?"
I smile, tell him to hold on a second and take the laundry over the deck rail. When I get back in the car he is smiling at me. I can still see the sleeping angels around him and yet I know his mind is rolling around to where we are right now. We drive on to our house and head up the drive way, I pause a minute in the drive way as the garage door opens. From the back seat...
"gramma, did you see that penguin?"
"well, no, I didn't, where is he" From the back seat...
"right there next to the camels."
"I guess gramma can't see them right now, but, I am happy that you can"
We go into the house for a quick little visit with grandpa and Ann and it is now time for him to lay down his sweet head and dream of camels and penguins - as the angels sing to him about pumpkins and all the sweet things that little boys are made of.

...and as grammie pammie gets ready to bed, she looks through her books and see's if there is indeed a recipe for camel.

TENTACLES

The week-end of August 26th, 2011 we spent in Nimrod with Chris, Emily and their family, Lila, Jeff, Curt and myself. There was a celebration in Staples which is about 24 miles before you hit Nimrod. We met on Friday night and all just went to bed, it was a long day... lots of driving. On Saturday morning we all got up and headed to Staples, to take in some of the activities. JaciAnna and Conner D were in a tractor pull. They got a can of Dr. Pepper for participating... thus, they WON!!! I so love this about children, they are as excited about getting a can of pop - and happy for the person that wins.
While the kids were waiting to pull, I went across the street to a Pizza Restaurant to order food for all of us for dinner and to use their restroom. I'd say it was about the smallest bathroom I had ever been in... my knee touching the walls as I sat down, my left arm resting on the sink. You may wonder why this matters, and actually it doesn't, I have always been know for using the facilities (or not facilities) when I need to and not being choosy. But, I promise you, to tell this story...
you need to know that it was CLOSE quarters in the biffy!!

After the pull, the food was ready and everyone came over to eat their food, it was a crowded place... lots of food and a few extra taco salads! Before eating the little guy needed to use the bathroom.
so...
the big guy took him into this nice cozy bathroom.

The big guy went first...
The little guy watched on...
"what is that on the side of your leg dad?"
.... after some thought dad thought he better use appropriate terms and not use the slang word -
"well son, (dad explained and then said... "you have them too"
"no, I don't"
so, dad assures him he does and has him look... indeed Conner D see's something maybe a little bit comparable...
"but why are yours hanging on the side like that"
WOW - sometimes things are hard to explain to a little guy in a crowded bathroom but dad continues...
"well I am older and it is hot so then sometimes they get pushed to the side, but they are the same as yours...
YOWSER - dad is home free as the little guy doesn't say another word.

UNTIL...

Approximately 2 hours later Conner D is mad at his grandma about her not letting him have any more pop. She explains to him about the sugar bugs and the behaviors and health problems that develop if you drink to much pop...

He gives her this look (the one that says, "I know I shouldn't say this, but, I am going to .... I am going to say it and see what happens...)

...he opens his mouth
....and says "WELL I HAVE TENTACLES!!"

Thank-goodness that Chris had already shared the bathroom experience with me - so, I at least had an idea where he was coming from...
but
I did need to turn my face to the wall...
as the pop I was drinking was coming out my nose due to an extensive outburst of laughter.

I guess a grandma should always practice what she preaches about pop and stuff, especially when she is preaching to a young man with TENTACLES!!

THE DAY GOD GAVE CONNER A KITTY...

So tonight at 10:00 she calls me. Sometimes it is the only time when we can share a few words together. JaciAnna is at a friends house, Jordyn is sleeping. Conner D however is up and waiting for his cousin Paige to arrive from Roseau. Isn't it amazing, she sits down after a full day to load some pictures on the computer and call me (when you are a mom of 3 you need to always do at least two things at once!)and I'll be if the little guy doesn't need help getting his swim trunks on!? He and the big guy are going to hop in the hot tub while waiting for their company.
Okay so the swim trunks are on... mom sits back down.

Oh oh, we better have a drink of water to take outside with us...
MOOOOOOMMMMMM, can you get me a drink of water.
Okay so the water is gotten... mom sits back down.

MMMOOOOOMMMMM, I need to have a towel (he calls from with in the walls of the hot tub). mmmoooommmmm... can you get me and dad a towel please? So she gets up and gets the towels and brings them out to the guys... mom sits back down.

Ohhhhh mom, you gotta come outside here and see this little kitty, he is so cute!
Okay so we have now looked at the kitten on the steps... mom sits back down.

Moooommmmm, this little kitty is so cute, look at him, isn't he so cute? God told me that we should have him... He said we need to keep the little kitty. Well Conner, we need to shut the door here. You see your daddy is allergic to cats so it would not be a good thing for our family to have a kitty. Tell God thank-you for His offer though... mom sits back down.

And now the company has arrived, we will try to finish up our conversation and she will need to go to them...
welcome them to Foley, welcome them into their home...

So, she says I love you and gets up out of the chair.

THERE IS LOVE

When I was a little girl I remember having "my brother". I remember the excitement that would fill him over everyday things in life. Many times he would take little pieces of my skin and pinch. I have to say, I never quit understood it.

I know if I was sewing or working on something I would stick my tongue out over my lips. It seemed to help me to concentrate. My dad and mom would always call me "gramma Meyer". They said that is what she did when she was sewing or working on some sort of craft. But, I didn't get into trouble for this...
it just made people smile.
Jeff never pinched anyone else, only me... or was it that no one else was ever really around? I can't remember that part.
But I know 45 years later that he still feels that same excitement over children. When he see's them he has to do something to bug them. It is as if he knows he can't pinch them or hurt them, but, he is going to be sure that he gets them to notice. It usually involves a little squeeze, push, taking their blanket, or reaching out to them in some way that will get a reaction from them. I have to say, I don't really quit understand it...
but if I think -
I wonder if he realizes in his mind that the best way to get attention from someone you love is to "act up"? No one really notices him if he is just sitting there rocking. He is quiet and kind never causing much trouble.
And really when I think about it isn't this the way we are?
We want to be noticed, but, we aren't sure how to do it.
As adults we can figure out things to do that the kids like - we can get them to like us and like our company. We can read them a book, get them out toys, make their favorite food, take them to the park, take them to the fair, for walks, for bike rides, hold them, pray with them, color with them...
In conclusion - I am still not sure why he does these things...
but of this I am sure -
there is love.

THE RIDE

Jeff has been riding bike as long as I can remember. His bikes were always embellished to the hilt. We are talking a big ole orange flag on the back that would swing back and forth as he sped down the road (the faster the bike, the faster the flag would wave!)... there was usually a radio taped somewhere, a clock or two, a horn, stickers, and whatever else he could conjure up. In his mind his bike was his car and he needed to dress it accordingly!

When we lived in town in a trailer house down on Henderson road, he was about 7. He had a broken arm, so, he needed to use his other arm to hold on as he peddled down the streets. If my memory serves me somewhat correctly - it was shortly after this our parents moved us 8 miles out in the country with a mile long drive way. This would offer lots of space and long distances before Jeff would have to turn around and go back the other direction.

When we lived on "Boerners Hills" farm he had a bike accident. There was a big electric pole with a yard light on it right in the middle of the farm yard, as Jeff made one of his spectacular turns - he ran into the pole. With blood everywhere he was ready to mount the bike, it wasn't until he saw dad coming towards him that he started crying. Dad brought him in and got all of his wounds cleaned and then off he went for another spin.

When Jeff turned 18 he moved to Mankato into the Harry Myring Center. Along with him went his bike. He took classes and had lots of training on the rules of "how to ride your bike". He rode his bike for many years, it was his main source of transportation. I can't speculate how many he went through during his years, but I can tell you how much he enjoyed riding! When he was living by the fire station in Mankato he ran into a parked car. He wasn't hurt real bad, but, bad enough that someone called the cops. When they arrived they got him cleaned up and issued him a ticket for reckless driving. He was so proud of that ticket that we just really couldn't say to much! To this day he will say... do you remember when I got that traffic ticket?

I guess the final straw came one day when mom and I were headed up the hill to go to the "River Hills Mall". We saw a bike rider, riding fast through traffic, head down... well, what in the world? Who would ride their bike like that? Thinking that all traffic would be watching for him? Why would someone allow this person to ride their bike through all this traffic with their head down, didn't he know any better? Didn't someone say "NO!"

and...
as we looked closer we realized it was none other than my favorite brother. He was so enjoying the wind at his back...
so enjoying his freedom
so enjoying the ride.

We did realize we would need to say "NO" - but, we let him finish his ride home and at his next "teaming" we discussed his capabilities of driving bike in Mankato. The traffic had changed through the years, and Jeff could no longer maneuver through it safely. It was sad for us to take away this freedom, but he was just fine with it. We still let him ride his bike in Arlington and he could still ride in Mankato with staff. Eventually he gave up riding in Arlington on his own also. He still goes with his staff in Mankato on the bike paths - but, that about tops his interest.

Thinking about this story...
and the fact that I need to fill my bike tires on Thursday so I can go for a spin on my new bike...
I believe I will take Jeff to the track this week-end...
let him feel the wind beneath his wings
let him be free
give him the chance to ride...

THE PACT

As long as I had a few lines about the "swear words"...
I needed to get this story down also. My three girls shared it with me about 3 months ago... they are story tellers and they had us all laughing!
The girls informed me that when we would go away and the three of them would be home alone - things happened that didn't happen when we were there!
All three of them would stand together in a "ring around the rosey" type of circle. They would make a "pact" that "no one would tell mom and dad what they did"
... then
.... the first one to go - she would say a swear word out loud
..... then
...... the second one would say a swear word
........ then
the third.
I laughed so hard to imagine my little "angels" standing in a circle, swearing up a storm! Never once did any of them mention this to me until this story! I could think about how "naughty" they were when we were gone, instead I am going to concentrate on the "secret love of sisters" never breaking their "pact!" - cuz, hey, sometimes you just gotta say it!!
Thank-you girls for this wonderful story, thanks for the Blessing you are, and always have been to us! We love you so!!

Again...

Remember when I told you about the "Information Seeker?" Well, here is another picture of her... she searched out the facts about how to "pa-pose" a baby .

Again...

Remember when I told you about the "Wedding Singer?" Well, here is a picture of the singers at her wedding!

Again...

...Remember when I told you about "The Teacher?" Well here is just a few of the many students she has loved and taught.

Again I say Rejoice

...Remember when I told you about "The Blesser?"
Well, here he is again!
It never ceases to amaze me what the love of a child can do to your heart!!

THE WEDDING SINGER

LIndsey is my middle child. I will always remember when she was a little girl Mr. Hillman had her sing in the Christmas play in Green-Isle. I can still hear the sound of her beautiful little girls voice as she sang about the lamb needing a place to go. She sang in our Church Plays also, Jan realizing that she had a beautiful young voice. Again in school when Lindsey was about in 7th grade, she sang the song "In the Arms of an Angel". Her voice moved over the people that were there in a heart warming gesture of love. When Lindsey was in 9th grade the United Methodist Church started a "Praise Team". The Pastor and Jeff asked her if she would consider giving her time and talents to this new adventure. Agreeing that it would be a lot of time commitment she said that she would try it. For 4 years she gave of her time to practice on Wednesday nights and sing on Sundays. I later joined and we got to sing together for those years. It was a wonderful time of Praising God. As Lindsey has grown in her life, finishing her degree in cardiac rehab from Mankato State University...
she has continued to sing. She has gifted others with her voice through funerals, retirement parties, birthdays, church services, women united and weddings. If you have a gift, use it to Glorify God, He will Bless you for it. I believe that Lindsey leads a life that is Blessed by God because of the gifts she shares with others.
Lindsey's voice continues to be one of my richest blessings!

THE TEACHER

Emily Jo is my first born... it was probably the only time of her life when she was the only one, sense her birth she has always been with children! If it wasn't her own sisters, it was the neighbor kids. She was always busy organizing their "play", teaching, and telling stories. Her first grade teacher wrote her a card and it said "May santa always have time to listen to your stories". He had told us that when Emily geared up for a story - you better have a little time, as it was going to be a good one, and it was going to be detailed!
I remember when she was young she had an incredible insight to life. She informed me that she would go out for sports, plays, activities, read, go to church, Sunday school, and that she would always get on the honor roll. She would do this because she had two younger sisters to set an example for. She wanted to leave a good impression with her teachers for her sisters sake.
When Emily went on to college she had a few bumps in the road. I remember being afraid that she wouldn't finish due to a broken heart. I'll be if she didn't pull herself up by the boot straps and go on to finish her four year teachers degree at Bemidgi State and then got her masters degree with two little ones at home. She is a kindergarten teacher now...
we are so very blessed by her teaching abilities and she still remains to be one of the best story tellers I know!!

THE INFORMATION SEEKER!

Lacey Lynn is my last born daughter... or, you could say the "baby of the family". She has always been a seeker. She loves to seek out information and study a situation before she will comment on it. Lacey started to read a lot about her 17th year of life. The thing with Lacey is she always seemed to be reading for "information", the entertainment part came second. A mother doesn't always know everything that is going on - but, I do know that with age she has shared many things she has learned with me and I am very thankful for that. If she doesn't know the answer, she will search it out in all places she knows and come up with a reasonable opinion surrounded by the facts. I would say her greatest accomplishment is that she reads and studies the Bible. One day when we were talking about life, she told me "The Bible is the only thing that makes sense." If I can think of one thing that I want my children, my children's children, my family and friends to know - it would be to know how to seek out the truth and wisdom in the Bible.
Lacey finished her liberal arts degree at Hutchinson technical college. She continues to learn on a daily basis -always searching for truth.
Her willingness to share knowledge with me is a treasure that I am blessed with.
I know she has done much information seeking on many different topics...
and look what she has passed on to the next generation...
This is a picture of Nola Jean "seeking out some information of her own!"

The yellow boots and the perfect day!

It was a perfect day. Planned at the last moment.
Almost everyone could be there...
Walking two blocks to the corner of main,
pushing strollers, carrying bags, lawn chairs and coolers.
Laughing, loving, giving, receiving.
And here we are, all smiles.
It was a perfect day!

The color of love

If I could describe love using a color, I would use the color red.
It is the color that most people look good in.
...the color of gingham on Nola Jeans dress
...red shoes with little straps going around her little feet, leaving her little toes bare.
...a covered wagon
...the touch of red undertones in her hair
...the color of the heart
but, most of all, the color of the blood that was shed for you and for me.
What greater love can be?
When they asked Jesus..."how much do you love me", he stretched out His arms and died.
And if I could tell you what Nola Jean is doing here...
I would say she is raising her hands in Praise to the Lord for giving us the color red.

The Blesser

Conner Dallas has a special gift in his heart. He is a "Blesser". For some reason this little guy just seems to know when to "can the swear words" and behaviors. He knows exactly who needs a smile and a touch. As he has gotten a little older it is not as easy for him to sit still long enough to give out the love that each person needs. The amazing thing is...
he does it anyway.
He very easily gets control of the situation, looks around and sees where he is needed. He will sit right down on that persons lap, look in their eyes, and give them the love that is needed.
When I watch him in these displays of love, I know that it is a gift he has been given from Jesus Christ. I can feel the colors of the rainbow as they splash over the moment and trickle down through hearts, healing the broken spots with love.

BREAKFAST & SWEAR WORDS

Many times through our grandchildren's lives - I have talked to their parents about "behaviors". I prefer they don't use the words naughty, shut-up, sassy, brat, acting up etc... I strongly believe in my heart if you tell a child he is "naughty", somewhere in his heart he will start to think that is what he is.
Or, if you tell a child she is a"brat" - somewhere it sinks into her heart and she believes that she is indeed a brat.
I believe that my kids have learned that this is the way I think. You should not speak bad words over your kids. We do understand that yes, there is often a need for discipline, especially in those young years where they are exploring, finding out just what they can get by with and what they can't. The most important thing is that they know that they are "good", but the behavior they are showing is not what you expect from them.
...for my point I will talk about Conner D. here for a little while.
We have gotten to see the little guy quite a bit this summer. One fine day when he was looking through the cupboards, (thinking he needed to have a Reese's peanut butter cup at 8:00 in the morning), I gently informed him that he would be having a good breakfast to start his day. YES, as you can imagine, he didn't agree with me. It became a little "power match" with Conner D informing me...
"JACIANNA SAID A SWEAR WORD LIKE ONLY THE PARENTS CAN DO."
I looked at Conner trying to figure out where he was coming from - but, I dropped it figuring he was just trying to tattle on his sister. I went on getting his eggs and toast ready for that wonderful breakfast that he was going to like so much!
"I WANT A REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUP"
..."Well, little guy, your not having one. I am making you some eggs and toast and that is what you will be eating."
"DO YOU WANT ME TO SWEAR?" he says with this very angry look on his face...
"DO YOU WANT ME TO SWEAR LIKE ONLY THE PARENTS CAN?"
...well, I am quite proud of myself here - I continue to make the breakfast and I don't start laughing. I take the Reese's peanut butter cup and tell him if he doesn't quit I will count to three and throw it into the garbage can with all the other swear words I have heard in my life!
He goes to his chair at the kitchen table, sits down and eats his eggs and toast and asked me...
"SO, ARE ANY OF MY PARENTS SWEAR WORDS IN THE GARBAGE?"

The Parade

Today she is trying to talk on the telephone. Sometimes when you are a busy mom you just don't get to talk much and you get lonesome for some adult conversation. "Hello, how are you, I have so much to tell you"

All of a sudden you can hear many children in the back ground - they need immediate attention as if an emergency has just taken place and the only paramedic in a 50 mile radius is "MOM!!!!!"
"just a minuet she says to the phone"

"Okay, I love the recorder music, however, that can only be played outside. A recorder is not an inside instrument. It is meant to be used in a parade.
Listen up my friends, this is going to be fun!
JaciAnna you will play the recorder,
Conner, here is a coffee can and a spoon, you will play the drums.
I need the rest of the kids to line up behind them, put your hands together, clap and sing. Here is a pail for each of you, fill them up with grass. You can throw it to all those people here on the side of the driveway, they are here to watch your parade.
One on the firetruck, one on the Dora bike, get out some play clothes...
yes,
there we go - you got it!!!
Have fun every one!"

"Okay, hello, I'm back, did you want to come over and watch a parade?"

BROCCOLI

He has seen many women today already, asking if they were Dr.'s or nurses, each woman has told him that they were a nurse. Then finally after some waiting, and a whole lot of nurses, in walks the Dr. and he is a man. You can tell by his face that he is thinking. How does this place work anyway? All these women, taking my blood pressure, listening to my heart, asking if I need shots... he can't hold his voice any longer... he must talk...
"Are you the Dr. in this place?"
"Why yes, I am the Dr."
"Well, can I ask your opinion on something?"
"You most certainly can"
"Well, do you think that women should be Dr.'s?"
The Dr.laughs to himself, "yes, my opinion is that women make very good Dr.'s"
With the little guys mind spinning now he really needs to know...
"My poop is really hard... in your opinion, if I were an alligator would my poop be softer"
The Dr. answers "no, alligators are not known to have soft poop either. The best thing to do is drink lots of water, and eat a lot of fruit and vegetables... like carrots and broccoli."

Well that must be exactly what Conner needed to hear. He turns to his mother and very matter a factually states...

"MOM, WE WILL NEED TO GET SOME BROCCOLI".

RIVER OF LIFE

As she walks him down the halls of the apartment building, I can't help but feel how much love there is between them. He holds her hand, somehow in his mind she is familiar. As his brain cells get hardened by time, there isn't a lot that can be done. He holds her hand and when she needs to go "out" she gets someone to stay with him.
I watch this for a couple of years, talking to them each time I see them. "How's the weather, did you have a good day, how is your family, man it is cold out there, don't go out today - it is just to warm". As the seasons pass us by one day I am able to really see her, really see him. I take this moment to tell her "you take such wonderful care of your husband" she smiles, "well, he took such wonderful care of me for so many years, and he is not problem, he is such a good man"
he smiles... he really has no idea what she just said but he knows from her voice that she is kind and that she loves him. She has loved him through many miles, many turns and probably even a few mountains! He knows he is safe, he has come full circle with his wife of 50 some years.
The diagnosis comes and she has cancer, actually, they have never seen anything like it and can't believe that she has no pain. She is not afraid. The love of her life is happy somewhere else now... finding comfort in the caregivers that they now pay to take care of him. And the greatest love of her life has her future planned for her... He has gone ahead and prepared a place for her, a place with many rooms and streets of gold.
She settles in to her new home also, him down the hall from her. She is weak and can not talk, he walks to her room and peaks in... you see, he can't talk either. And there is no need for words as their eyes show the fluid color of blue, connecting the rivers of time. She takes his hand and holds it in hers... she tells him she loves him without saying a word - he embraces her with his arms never moving. To see a more beautiful display of love her on earth...
I don't think I ever will.
The Lord Blessed me to know this couple. I have learned a new unconditional love, I have seen a deep faith, and a river of life is flowing as she begins her walk on the streets of gold.

55 alive

As I am driving down the road going 55 miles per hour, I am being eatin' alive.
I am being passed by every vehicle in site.
So, I speed up to 60.
They continue to eat me alive, passing on hills, swerving in front of me to miss the car that will soon meet them head on. I slow down so they can pull safely in front of me.
And I wonder as I wander...
Why is the speed limit 55 miles per hour?
No one drives that, the cops won't even pick you up until 62 miles per hour.
So again I ask...
Why is the speed limit 55 miles per hour?
My vote is slow these people down!
You have much better control of your car at 35 miles per hour. The bumps in the road don't seem as bad, you are safer...
and as he speeds past me going at least 70,
swerves in front of me to miss the on coming car,
there he sits one inch in front of me at the stop sign??

First steps

Tonight I watch her, smiling at me, pretending to be shy at first. Then she does it - she takes a step, and then two, and then
to the floor
She will try again in a little while...
to take some more steps and then
to the floor.
And my memory goes back to so many years ago - seeing those first steps, realizing that they are growing and learning so much in those first years. Now it seems those first years have turned into their own first years. They watch as their babies take their steps... I watch with the same amazement I did then. Wondering to myself how this can be? How can this little life have been entrusted to us down here on earth? This precious little soul, so innocent, so uninhibited by the world. Jesus will guide the steps of those who ask...
Lord,
I pray that you will guide the steps of my grandchildren. That you will lead them along the path of righteousness, teach them Your ways, and that they will be safe in this world with Your love. Be with their parents as they learn what their purpose in life is. As they learn to follow your steps...
I ask that you would leave big prints so they can not miss where they are headed!
Thank-you
Amen!

Flowers and peanut butter

Lindsey came home on Friday afternoon to work on flowers for Chrissy Dotolo's wedding.
She brought many beautiful flowers and did a beautiful job putting them together into arrangements that would express the brides personality to all her guests. While she was working she got to hear a few stories from our Conner D. It seems if you make him a piece of peanut butter toast, he has a song to sing for you...

I like peanut butter on my toast,
I like peanut butter on my underwear, (as he looks at you and smiles, thinking, wondering if you think underwear is a swear word or if he can keep going with these lyrics!)
I like peanut butter in my hair!

He makes her laugh and that is what he loves to do.
By the time I get home he is ready for another round of eats.
This time it will be grapes...
and he eats them silently, without a song, thinking.
He then heads into the living room and starts telling me how the flowers that Lindsey is working on have stickers. These stickers will poke you and you will bleed if you touch them. Well, that explains everything! No wonder the police car, tractor, hay wagon, firetruck, and helicopter are ready to go - pigs and cows lined up on the fire station waiting for market! You must always be ready when Lindsey is working, you never know who the next one to get poked by a sticker may be!

God's grace

On Thursday (May 19th, 2011) we went to Emily's to bring her a tub of clean laundry. Grams had carefully washed and ironed things, I put them in outfits. We added a few newly bought garage sale items, and yes, with Lila, grams and myself we had a car full!
When we got there everything was taken to its proper place and I headed down to the basement. For some reason I do love it down there - I feel what my grand children were doing even though I can't always be there. I see how hard my daughter and son in law work to make ends meet for their family...
and then they come home to raise their family...
it is all in a days hours that you loose track...
time seems to get away on us as we handle the daily life skills.
How can you work 40 plus hours, make supper, buy groceries, wash clothes, clean house, play with the kids, teach family values, take baths, get ready for the next day, and prepare your kids for a restful night sleep - then get 8 hours of sleep and wake up to start it all again? I believe it is only by God's Grace we can do all things through Him who gives us strength!

I think we will take Conner D home with us tonight when we leave. If he is willing to leave his family for a little time at gramma and papa's house. It will be a nice break from his two sisters. It will be a nice break for his mom and dad. It seems when you have three kids and one is gone you have had half the world lifted off your shoulders. You get that break that you need to get you through another couple of months. Oh, please hear me, it isn't that you don't love your family, each and every one, it is just that one being gone for a small amount of time makes a big difference on how you look at things when they come back!

The little guy is thinking about it. He just isn't to sure he wants to come if his dad isn't coming, and how about his mom? I don't have the heart to tell him that I don't want his dad and mom right now - I just want him. I want to listen to his stories, and see his smiling face. I want to hold his little body and read him a story. I want to give him a sponge bath in the sink, put his little feet in the water and gently wash them. I want to rock him and sing him a song until he falls asleep in my arms.

Wonderful! He has told his mom and dad the reason he doesn't want to come is that I drive to slow in my car. The white van always wins and he wants to be the winner! Well, his dad and I can take care of that one quick! Chris, move that grocery getter over - greenie is passing you by...
I will drive fast -
so that I can have him for a little while -
and the green car wins, we are on or way to Arlington with Conner D and Lila in the back seat. We have just eaten at Raunaby and it is 7:30.
Passing the white van, waving at mom and dad, they start in their back seat conversation. It is the funniest thing that on this 2 hour drive the two of them talk to each other continuously. I am not joking about this, there was not a 5 second pause! They weren't interrupting each other either... they were conversing continuously for 1 and 1/2 hours! I wanted so bad to remember everything I was hearing. I know they talked a lot about the plastic pig they had. This little piggie went to market, this little piggie went home, then I heard Conner telling Lila that God is right here in your heart, Lila saying - yes, yes, that's right my boy! There conversation was like music in the back seat...
you can hear the melody but your not sure what the words are!
I thanked my God again at this moment... realizing it is only by His Grace that I am here to savor this moment, and although I can't save it - I can blog it with hopes of one day reading it and saying "I remember!"

About 1/2 hour from home, Lester Prairie outskirts to be exact,Gradma Dorius says "How about if we can see who can be quiet the longest, starting right now...?"

By the time we get into Lester Prairie the two of them are sleeping! We get to Arlington and unload the little guy into bed with grandpa. He won't know until the next morning that he indeed got to sleep with papa!! I get Lila to bed, take the laundry basket down to gramma's and return home. And, there is the little guy in my bed yet, snuggled next to his papa. I breath in the scent of his hair and skin as I gently kiss his forehead and I head upstairs to bed.

Who would have ever thought that God's Grace would carry me this far?
Thank-you Jesus for little guys, car rides, and that little piggie that went wee wee wee all the way home!

Forgiveness

Today for work I had "Headline News". It is where I read the paper to a group. We try to keep up, and interested in some of the world issues, and then we read the Glencoe Enterprise. If it were not for my job I would not be reading these reports of life. I don't believe most of them, why should I? The headline news was about Arnold. I remember him from movies when I was younger. Kindergarten cop is the one I think of. He was funny, had a great accent, nice abs, nice cheek bones, nice teeth, beautiful wife, healthy kids, lots of money, people liked him, he seemed to like people,it seems as though his life and family had been blessed beyond measure. Then in a flash, people start to talk, they print it in the news and his life is lost in an abyss of back stabbing, yapping, and judging that he can't seem to stop, even with the money he has left after years of supporting two families. It doesn't seem much like people care as they take his family and slather them through the mud with him. (Sadness always follows the break-up of a family. God did not mean for their to be divorce - He knew how hurtful it is children, little or grown.) They took his picture for the article, someone got him in his car while he was driving. I imagine he was at a stop sign, rain coming down, wipers on... And his handsome face looked filled with grief...
pain pulling at his cheek bones... and hardened lines covered his face...
as the paparazzi fills their mind with greed, looking for someone to give millions to if they can be the first one to get a picture of this innocent child who was fathered by one of the most known wealthy actors of my time. I believe if the paparazzi doesn't find a picture soon - they will make one up, they will do whatever they have to so they can be the first...
the first to prove that Arnold isn't perfect, never was and never will be.
I prayed for him today.
He isn't perfect, but, he is a man - made by God, loved unconditionally.
I pray again,
Lord, forgive us sinners. Sometimes we seem to get tripped up in the world, loose our footing and start to follow Gods that are not You. Please wrap the this family in Your loving arms, use this as a time to show the world what forgiveness is all about. And lord, Bless all those that have made mistakes that will change their life as they know it. There is no turning back - help them to be picked up by You, turned around and set back on solid ground. I pray wherever the family is now - that a peace will cover them all and they will know they are being prayed for and loved by You
and by me.
Amen!

Genetics

I find it so amazing...
How things are passed down from one generations to the next.
The thing I wonder about here?
How did Dallas Meyer's genes
Find there way to Chris Harren?
And wouldn't my dad be proud to know that his oldest granddaughter found herself a husband that is so much like he was?
Funny how life works
Funny how genetics have been studied for years
- and yet I don't think there is an answer to this one.

Who is who?

In May it seems that all the school classes take some sort of field trip. Of course, that would include Conner D. and Ms. Kathy's preschool class. It was to be quite an event, with dad and mom going out for supper the night before, it was their 8th anniversary! They stopped at the grocery store after their date and got some lunch for the trip which would be the next day.
Lunch? Check
Matching shirts? Check
Matching shorts? Check
Sunglasses? Check
I believe we are ready to go! The trip would include a stop at the St.Cloud fire department, the aviation field, and a train ride into Minneapolis! There would be quite a few times where Conner D. would be able to catch his reflection in the window, wondering if it was really him... or was it his dad... maybe it is Spider man? I wonder if Spider Man takes field trips with his class room? If he did I am sure that he would be quite the same as Conner D... I often times get them mixed up when I see them together. When Conner D wears his tight fitting Spider Man PJ pants - I need to look twice...
Is it really Spider Man?
Or is it Conner D?
I look at the pictures that have been taken of the day. Dreaming about what was said, trying to imagine what went on inside his little head. He has got to be one of the cutest little guys I have ever seen...
and I just can't decide who is the cutest...
Spider Man?
Conner D?
I guess the answer is obvious -
When you are on a field trip with Ms. Kathy and she is your teacher -
I would have to say that Conner D would be the appropriate answer!
Sorry Spider Man!

For it is by Grace you have been saved through Faith. Epheasians 2?8

When I was a young lady - in high school we watched a film on the Holocaust in one of our classes. I don't remember a whole lot about it, but I do remember being very frightened about the image that stayed in my mind. The shot I remember was women standing by the side of the road, crying their hands up, screaming in heart pain... their children being loaded up in trucks, taken from them...

After I had Emily, and after I was married... I remembered again this image and a fear welled up inside of me. Now I was part of a family, what if this would be me and my baby? At a time when Curt and I were talking about life I told him about the film shot that haunted my mind, told him I was afraid. What he told me was that something like this would probably never happen again in America... people would stand up, we have learned a lot sense that awful time. The relief I felt was instant as he held me a peace came over me and I thanked him. It made a difference in me - I decided I would not live in fear. At this time I thought the peace I felt was from Curt and I talking and him giving me assurance. I didn't understand that Curt was a husband comforting his wife but the great peace I felt was the Holy Spirit.

Today in church Pastor Wayne talked about the persecuted church. He showed a picture of two teenage girls in Egypt embracing and tears rolling down their cheeks, they were in a church and mobsters were burning and killing Christians who had come to worship, another group of criminals burning the homes of those attending church. He used it to explain to the conferments that the fact they were joining the church was not a small thing - it is like taking a wedding vow, you are saying "I do" to Christ and reaffirming your baptism. You are not asking for an easy life, you are telling others that you choose to follow Christ - when things are good, and when they are not.

During second service Pastor talked about the persecuted church in China. He told about how they had found this bible hidden in a wall that had the names of followers of Christ in it. They found three of the names listed and killed them...

It all came back and flooded my mind in such an urgency that I would need to share what I could of a conversation I had with Lacey about this same story.

Lacey and I were talking about this same bible, the names of Christians were sought out. They were asked to denounce their belief in Christ in front of them all and their children... if they didn't their children would be killed on the spot. They said nothing...
and the mother looked at her child and said...
"I will see you tonight in Heaven."

As her baby's life was taken by a human on this earth this mother handed her baby to Christ. His tears flowing over a mother who stood in faith.

Lacey said "I want to know a love like this, I am not afraid anymore"

and I knew in this moment... just what she was talking about. Fear is not from the Lord.
The relief I felt was instant.
I knew it was the Holy Spirit - that we are a part of something so much greater than we can even imagine. That our children are His children - we need not be afraid. We stand in faith and pray for His Grace to cover us as we carry on and share what we have learned.
AMEN

Wedding prayers

K took the pre pictures for Lindsey's wedding. He was there in the church with his camera. Sometimes when you are in a place where the Holy Spirit has freedom to move, you see things. You see things captured on film, that can only really be felt with the heart. I said a prayer for K and his photography business, that the Lord would bless his work, bless his family and show him he is loved. I said a prayer for Lindsey and Josh that the Lord would bless and keep their marriage. I said a prayer for all of us... Lord, help us to hear your voice in the midst of the ciaos,help us to always know that you are their with us and most of all that we might have those moments, where we stop and listen and pray. Amen
And today as I look through the pictures, I see the many prayers that were being said in heart language, that people were being loved and angels were dancing.

The ring bearer and his flower girl

When your aunt first asks if you will be in her wedding... there are many steps to take before you are walking down the isle. It starts with the outfits. They must be purchased, and fitted. Then you have to practice. Practice makes perfect.
1) Purchase outfits - practice
2) Have them fitted - talk about the day with your mom
3) Practice
4) Get your hair done - practice
5) Pin on your flower - practice
6) The rings please!