Today on my way home from work I was drawn to stop at the Catholic cemetery just north of Arlington. Never have I thought of cemetery's as grim or depressing but rather I find it a sort of relaxing beautiful God atmosphere. I am not sure why but start walking around in the beautiful fall sun. It is about 70 degrees and the sun warms my tired bones, tired of walking, tired of thinking...
and then it comes like a fresh breeze on a humid day...
childhood memories.
When I was a little girl around 4 we lived on Adams street in a duplex home. We lived on the top floor and I remember nothing of the house, other than I have seen the house sit there for years knowing at one time my family walked those killer steps to go home. There was a dog kennel in the next block right next to the alley with a black lab calling it home. When I went to pet the dog the neighbor lady came out and talked to me, not remembering the conversation myself but remembering the story she would tell for years to come. She didn't like me petting that dog, afraid that I would get hurt. Not only did she tell me about it but told my mom, thus the two of them striking up a friendship that would last her life time. Their names were Clara and Ursula, one day soon they would be our babysitters, watching Jeff and I with a love that is not known to many children.
Clara and Ursie were Catholic and neither one of them were married. I have come to understand with age why they worked every funeral that was at their church. Neither had full time jobs and you know what happens then... you are available... you work funerals! They never let a funeral get in the way of watching me, I would just go along, getting to know the church as well (if not better) than my own. Recalling in the attic of my mind I remember them telling me a story of a beautiful little girl who had died and how sad it was for everyone to see that horse drawn carriage with the little casket. They showed me the stone in the public cemetery and it had a metal frame on the front, when you lifted up the cover, there was a picture of the girl, and she was so beautiful! As age took over me I never knew if that memory was correct, and by the time I wanted to ask Clara and Ursie were both gone. One day as I walked through I found the stone with the picture of this sweet child for ever in youth. I have many memories it seems of the cemetery, funerals, luncheons, bingo...and most of them were good. I realize how people must have appreciated their help with all the events that take place inside the church. I believe it was on Saturday evenings that we would go to play bingo in the hall, there was an ashtray on each table... wow, how times have changed!
Clara's mom and dad had bought her a house in town. It is still in its same place. They bought this for her and her sister Ersie. Ersie had some kind of problem that I was never sure about until I got older. She was slow, different then the other adults I knew. I realize now that her dad bought Clara the house in the assumption that she would take care of her sister. Clara and Ersie lived in the bottom of the house and rented out the top to a couple. The house was beautiful with an open staircase going to the apartment and a foyer going to their part of the house. It had a huge living room / dining room that was separated by wood cabinets. It had a built in china cab nit on the south dining room wall. Inside were beautiful dishes that they would let me look at. I remember the pretty tea cups and saucers. When friends would come over they would let us have "tea" with graham crackers, butter and sugar. They would let us pick out which cup and saucer we wanted, and they even used a real tea pot to get the water ready. Before Clara died she gave mom an old flowered lantern that I still have displayed in my front porch. I can't forget about the huge wrap around front porch... my friends and I played house, and then played some more, it was a perfect spot for little mommies to use their imaginations. The yard at the time seemed huge to me and we would rake the leaves into rooms and play house. Ersie was the gardener, she had beautiful peony bushes and mostly I think of the "bleeding heart" bushes. Even as a young girl looking at those hearts gave me a great sense that there was something so much greater than myself. When I look at the hill from the side walk up to their house, I know that was where I learned to ride my bike. Clara was right out there showing me how to use the hill to stop if I got scared. I thought that hill was huge, now... well, it isn't a huge hill but to my little girl self it sure was! I remember one time when Jeff and I were out there and some of the boys had stopped by to make fun of us, Clara came right on out and told them to get off her property or she would call the cops. We never had to be afraid at Clara's.
Clara and Ersie were a part of our life, our family. When we lived out on "Boerners hill" they would come out to butcher chickens with us. I wondered how anyone could enjoy this task, now with age I understand the fun they had by gathering with my family and having a project to be a part of. My dad would cut the heads off and then had me "catch" them. Clara and Ersie would do the dipping in hot water and plucking of the feathers... I didn't eat chicken for many a year, now it is a wonderful memory of when my mom each spring would get her baby chicks. If a chicken would get pecked on she would bring it in to the big front porch for awhile, they would get tame, following us around the yard like a dog! I was also confirmed while we lived out at this house. Clara and Ersie bought the cake for my confirmation. The picture above is of Ersie and I at my confirmation.
They had a sister names Chrysanthemum and her nick name was "Censi". She lived in Mpls and we got to go there sometimes and stay. It was like a little vacation. I don't remember for sure if my dad drove us there or if Clara drove. Ersie never had a license. They had squirrels and Ersie would go outside with peanuts and they would come and eat them out of her hand. The picture is of Ersie at Censi's feeding the squirrel.
In the summer of approx 1972 I was on a trip somewhere with friends. I just remember standing out on the dock and my dad driving up and walking out to me. He took my face in his hands and told me that Ersie had died. I fell to my knees in pain of not understanding and wanting my friend. My friend who would sit for hours and do beautiful cross stitching, letting me watch. The one who never said anything bad about Jeff, who let us stay over night many nights and sleep by us if we were scared, who could work up the soil and make magic appear from seeds...
it was the first "wake" I went to. I don't remember a lot, other than she looked so beautiful and I couldn't understand, it hurt so bad I did not go to another wake until I was in my 20's.
We remained close to Clara who had another sister named Corinne. Corrinne had been married but never had children. When her husband died she moved in the beautiful stucco house on main street with the garden that was seeded in after Ersie went to live in Heaven. Clara and Corinne lived in the house for awhile and then moved to an apartment together when it got to be to much. Corrinne went to the nursing home, died and then Clara had to go to the nursing home for a short while before she died also. They both were at my wedding in 1986. This is about my last memory of them. .
As I look back over my childhood some of my first and last memories are with Clara and her sisters. I know now how very Blessed I was to have them in my life. They not only taught me about faith and love (bingo and funeral lunches), but they showed me sisterly love. I wonder if that is why it is so important for me that Emi, Lindsey, and Lacey stay close? The baptism dress that all my girls wore was a gift from Clara to Emily Jo. Oh how she loved my baby girl. Clara never needed children of her own, she took my family and friends and placed all of us in that part of her heart.
I wish she were here right now, I would tell her thank-you.
